The best things in life are unexpected – because there were no expectations.
Okay so the month of romance is over now and on we go, whether it was the best ever or one of the worst depends on what you expected to happen.
Looking back through the years I think the simplest gestures made me happiest, especially when unexpected . If I’ve been disappointed, something was said or done in a way that I didn’t expect.
How many times have you heard the words or had the thought?
‘I thought he would have made more of an effort’
‘I thought she would have appreciated it’
‘I thought they would have understood what I meant’
When we think or expect someone to say or do something in one way, we limit their ability to surprise us with another possibility and we can take their actions as hurtful.
Most people act in a way that they think is of benefit to both of you. They have the best intentions, think they are right and expect everyone to see things their way. We all do it so this is nothing new but we rarely understand what the other person must have been thinking to have them feel what they did to us was ok.
When something disappoints you ask yourself, what did I expect to happen?
Do I have a justified reason to expect that outcome from that person? Is that who they are? If not, why am I upset?
Expecting a particular outcome from someone else can stop us from understanding their intentions and seeing them as they truly are.